That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
