his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
