Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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