Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
