That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
