I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You dont lie about slip and slides
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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