Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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