I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
