my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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