My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
