Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She announced her abortion via fbk
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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