Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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