i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
