in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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