would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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