as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
