She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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