I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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