Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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