My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
