Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
