I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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