He passed out mid-signature
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
