The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
