PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
