Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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