I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
