I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do herpes really smell.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
