At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Pappa wants mamma naked
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
