i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
time to smoke my breakfast
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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