barbara walters just said penis...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
