i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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