What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
