Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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