Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
