2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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