This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
