It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
