Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
