Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
