how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
