Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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