How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
