I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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