Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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