): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
