Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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