That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
