Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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