No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
