history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I came so hard my ears popped.
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