im drinking this country out of the recession.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
