what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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